Canopic Chaos
by t.j.guard
Summary: Chaos comes to town, following the museum's new night guard's family. All that remains in its way are two night guards, a museum's exhibits, and the will of one new exhibit who wants his afterlife back.
1. Prologue

Canopic Chaos

Disclaimer: I don't own the Night at the Museum movies, or anything therein for that matter. Plot's mine, however, as is anything that seems out of place.

A/N: Ancient Egyptians were really into their afterlives. That fact spawned this. Jed/Oct, some Ahk/OC, and brotherly love-ness Ahk/Kah at the end.  
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Prologue

He looked in from his place beside the outer front door, leaning in ever so slightly, certain of his security from prying eyes, as everyone inside was too involved in the late show at the Museum of Natural History. It'd been a long while since he looked in from the outside, and he planned to change that for good within the next few days.

Of course, Ahkmenrah had been released from his sarcophagus and was now roaming about. That pharaoh knew how to work the tablet better than anyone, and it would soon be the death of him, should his greatest plan succeed. If he could get his granddaughter to cooperate, and she sat on the razor's edge with him.

As he looked in, he noted some rather odd details. The miniatures were roaming about freely, even mingling, in the case of the cowboys and Romans. Sacajawea and Teddy Roosevelt seemed rather content with each other's company, as it were. What was most odd was that no one tried to kill anyone else, save Dexter's slapping people at, as it seemed from the outside looking in, complete and utter random.

His eyes narrowed when they found Larry at Dr. McPhee's side. McPhee was stiff as always, but oh, that Larry... His mind reeled with the thought of what levels Larry had brought him down to, but he couldn't look away.

For one instant, he had thought Larry noticed him, so he turned his back on the front door. When he was sure it was safe, he walked back to his car, where his granddaughter lay in wait, glaring out the window at nothing for reasons he couldn't yet fathom.

"Found anything?" she asked when he opened the door.

"Not a single thing," he replied, chewing his lip and climbing into the car.

"Can't you just walk in and ask?"

"It's a museum."

"So? You can still walk up to the curator and ask about this thing you want, can't you?"

"Not without looking suspicious."

"Yeah, whatever. Your business, not mine." She leaned back in her seat and stared out the window as he drove off.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Jedediah Smith narrowed his eyes, watching Dr. McPhee for traces of anything unusual, like he'd been doing for the past week, after his suspicions took shape. Someone whispered his name, bringing him to reality only to find Octavius behind him. "Is something wrong?" the general asked.

"I just keep thinking..."

"Thinking what?"

"I think he's up to something."

"Larry?"

"That McPhee fella. I don't like the looks of him, 'specially with the way he's been acting the past few days."

"Exactly how long has this been going on?"

"A week, maybe."

"What do you suggest be done?"

"Dunno yet."

"Perhaps I could-"

"If I'm wrong and you get your guys involved, your guys'll hate you for the rest of your life and it'll all be my fault and you'll hate me."

"I won't hate you."

"But you'll blame me. Ain't a general supposed to have his guys' best interests at heart or some shit like that?"

Octavius sighed, conceding his defeat, and Jedediah continued to watch McPhee, though in his peripheral vision, he noticed that Larry had noticed something. Dismissing it as nothing, Larry had returned his full attention to the late show going on around him.

It was when the crowd and several other museum staff members started to file out that McPhee closed up shop in his office and left Larry and the exhibits to themselves.

Jedediah assumed his usual light-heartedness when Larry walked up. "Howdy, Gigantor."

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"We were just watching you and Dr. McPhee." Jed promptly smacked Octavius upside the head.

"Why?"

"I been thinking that lately he ain't up to nothing good."

"He's just the curator."

"So? Cecil was just the night guard, and look what he tried to do."

"Okay, good point. Let's just wait this one out and keep tabs on him for now, okay?"

"Sounds good, Gigantor."

"Seems like a good plan to me." Octavius rubbed the back of his neck, but he seemed to have recovered almost completely.

"Okay, great." Larry waved and walked off, leaving Jed and Octavius alone.

"Now what?" Octavius asked.

"Whatever you want, I guess." Jed smirked, and Octavius smiled.

After flying around like maniacs for an hour, Jed landed-slash-almost-crashed on the reception desk, with both himself and his passenger intact. "That was fun," he whispered.

"Should we get back to our dioramas now?" Octavius asked. "Something seems off right now."

Jed looked around. "Seems okay to me."

"Maybe it's just me."

"I know you ain't crazy, so maybe you're right." Jed prepared to fly them back when he, too, was struck by the same feeling that something was wrong. It only strengthened his eagerness for his diorama.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The phone rang, and Tally, a somewhat tanned girl in her late teens, who was playing with her long, dark hair, called, "I got it," and allowed her hair to fall before she answered. "Hello?"

"Tally Johannson?" the voice on the other end asked.

"That's me. You're Larry Daley from the Museum of Natural History, right?"

"How'd you know?"

"Caller ID, and I heard about you."

"Bad or good?"

"Mixed."

"Oh, okay." The voice chuckled before going on. "What do you say to a job interview tonight."

"What? You're kidding, right?"

"Sorry, but no. Are you busy?"

"No, no! It's just...I didn't really expect...yeah."

"I gotcha. So I'll see you tonight?"

"See ya tonight."

When Tally hung up, her grandfather asked from his place on the couch, "What was that about?"

"Job interview tonight."

"So soon?"

"Better believe it." She really didn't believe it herself, but she nonetheless rushed upstairs and began rummaging through her closet for something decent to wear.

The sun was just setting when Tally Johannson walked up the stairs to the Museum of Natural History. She fixed her pony tail, jacket, and jeans before walking inside. A young, tan man dressed as if from ancient Egypt walked up to her. "Hello. Are you new?"

"I hope," she said with a smile. "You know where to find Larry Daley?"

He pointed down one of the hallways. "I believe he went that way, but he should be here any moment."

"Thanks." All the while, Tally was thinking, Can't look desperate, can't look desperate.

"May I ask what brings you here?"

"Job interview, actually."

"So that's why you look so nice."

"Thanks." Tally was sure she was blushing, but just then Larry walked into the lobby just then, saving her the potential embarrassment and already existing awkwardness of continuing the conversation.

"Let's get down to business. So, you think you can be a night guard at the Museum of Natural History, huh?" Larry began with a smirk, leading Tally down a hall as the late night crowd flooded in.

"Well, the night watch is...a family tradition, of sorts," Tally managed. "I thought I'd try my hand at it, see what it's like." Can't look desperate, she kept thinking. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious. Not everyone can be a night watchman, you know. Now, how much do you know?"

"Nobody comes in, nothing goes out under any circumstances unless it makes it in before sunrise, don't jeopardize the safety of anyone or anything in the museum, and keep an eye out for anything too odd to be true."

"Oo, you're good."

"Oh, and expect the unexpected. Anything else?"

"You're really good. Tell me why anything which leaves must make it inside before sunrise."

"It turns to dust, which is to say all hope of saving it is lost."

"You aren't...wait, are you?"

"That's my secret, Mr. Daley. Anyway, what else you got?"

"You know the night watch here like the back of your hand." He held his hand out for her to shake, which she did, with a smile. "You seem okay to me, but I'll let McPhee and the board know and we'll see what happens. I'll call you as soon as I know."

"Thanks a lot, Mr. Daley."

"Drive safely," Larry called as Tally turned to leave the hall.

She paused at the threshold and called back, "You bet."

Ahkmenrah walked up to Larry. "So, how did it go?"

"If it were up to me, I'd have hired her on the spot," Larry said. "She'd do a good job."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Jedediah and Octavius positioned themselves against the door to McPhee's office, ready to strike when the door opened. When it did and they were clear of McPhee's feet, they slipped inside, and the first things Jed noticed were the keyring and flashlight on a nearby chair. "What the...?" he whispered.

Octavius looked at whatever Jed had noticed and furrowed his brow in confusion. "Certainly very odd items to be in a curator's office."

"Mementos maybe?"

"From what?"

"Maybe he was a night guard, too."

"Or they are for a regretful heart who fired the wrong man."

Footsteps approached, so Jed urged Octavius to hide, and sure enough, when Dr. McPhee entered his office, Jed and Octavius were out the door faster than they ever ran out of anything in their lives.

"That certainly wasn't very successful, Jedediah," Octavius muttered once they were safely at the edge of the lobby.

"So we try again. Whaddaya say, Octy?"

With a grin, Octavius said, "I say we go for it."

That night, it had been Larry's job to supervise the transport of another wax statue, this one going into the Egyptian wing. At least as soon as the statue was inside the walls of the museum, it pushed the lid off its crate to reveal a very familiar face. "You," he hissed, sitting upright.

"There's more than one of you?"

"Of course." He even had that lisp. "There's always more than one." After he climbed out, he said curtly, "Watch my jars, would you?" With a confused look, Larry turned his attention to the four small jars tucked away in the four corners of the crate.

With her grandfather passed out on the couch, still sleeping off his night, most likely, Tally turned her attention to the man's duffel bags and notebooks. He'd made extensive notes, kept all of his night watchman's things that he could, and there were several fairly detailed drawings on loose leaf paper scattered about, including a few of canopic jars. Tally examined these sketches closely, noting the faces and names, muttering them to herself. "Jackal, Neith. Falcon, Salket. Baboon, Nephthys. Human, Isis." The human-headed jar was circled, along with a marginal note, "Just what we need."

Instinctively, she rushed to the living room, where her grandfather was still asleep on the couch. She sighed with relief, returning to her examination of the old man's papers from his days as a night guard. Apparently, he'd had cohorts, of which there were two, but she had no idea where they could be found, as only one name each was listed. "So they were his buddies from the old days, just like he said," she whispered.

Tally gently slid the drawing of the canopic jars from its place and examined it more closely. Was there something she was missing? There had to be a reason the human-headed one was circled. She scratched her forehead, examining the measure of detail put into the drawings of the jars, the flourish of the names as if they were to be praised, but all she knew was Isis was the chief goddess of ancient Egypt.

That was the best she had at that moment, she realized with a heavy sigh.

Ahkmenrah walked into the Egyptian wing only to find the one person he expected to never see again. "Kahmunrah," he said plainly, choosing his mother tongue. "You've returned?"

"Afraid you'd miss me too much?" Kahmunrah's tone was rather mocking, but his smirk and cruel manner faded almost instantaneously under his younger brother's harsh gaze. "I was transferred," he mumbled. "I had no choice."

"Make yourself comfortable before dawn," was all Ahkmenrah said before he walked back to his own sarcophagus. Kahmunrah was slightly thunderstruck, but he gathered himself and assumed a position of authority just as the sun rose.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Larry checked the arrangement of the four jars one last time before clocking out, but McPhee stopped him at the door to the security office. "What's up?" he asked.

"I notified the board last night, before business hours concluded, and they were thrilled you were taking on so skilled a night guard."

"She's not-"

"She should be."

"You're saying I should hire her?"

"By all means." McPhee laughed, and Larry waved, a little bit nervous about McPhee's manner, particularly his insistence. He walked out of the museum a bit dumbstruck and more than a little tired. He fished out his cell phone, searched through a phone book at a nearby pay phone and heralded a taxi. Successfully finding a taxi, he gave directions and dialled a few numbers he'd managed to weasel out of the phone book, hitting home with one which would've surprised him if he didn't want sleep so badly.

"Hello?" Tally's voice said on the other end of the line. She sounded like she was awake, but it was really still early.

"Did I wake you?"

"Nah. I've been up all night. So, what's up?"

"Just found out this morning. You're hired."

"Is this a joke?"

"Nope. April Fool's Day was several weeks ago."

"Oo-kay. So you're serious?"

"Yep. You start tonight."

"Okay."

"See ya then."

"Yep, you betcha."

Larry hung up, relieved that that burden was off his shoulders. There still remained Kahmunrah, his tense relationship with Ahkmenrah, and several other details, such as Tally's extensive knowledge of the way things worked at the museum. Those could all be resolved after some sleep, he decided when he reached home.

After waking up from a long day's sleep, Tally dressed and slipped out of her grandfather's apartment, thinking about how much the guy had pretended to be rich during his last year at work, and how it was his undoing. She shook her head and found herself a taxi to ride. Within minutes, she found herself paying fare at the intersection nearest to the museum and walking over.

The sun hadn't completely set yet, so the museum was calm-ish, save the few people milling about until regular closing time. Larry had also arrived, and he walked right up to her. "So, you ready for this?"

"As I'll ever be, Mr. Daley."

"You can just call me Larry."

"Okay." Tally shrugged, but she figured it wasn't really up to her, anyway.

Larry walked Tally around the building, pointing out the basics of the job and how it was to be carried out, some notable historic figures and evets, etc. Night had fallen by the time they returned to the lobby, and it was flooding with exhibits that Larry had pointed out to her along the way, along with several others. "This happen all the time?" she asked.

"Every night. Invariably."

"How long before I get used to it?"

"Depends on what happens before then."

"Okay, then."

The man Tally had seen the previous night walked up to them at that moment. "So, they've accepted you," he said with a smile.

"Thus far."

"Tally, this is Ahkmenrah. Ahkmenrah, Tally." Larry gestured to each in turn.

Ahkmenrah held out his hand. "It's nice officially meeting you."

"Same here," Tally replied, shaking hands. Her gaze shifted from Ahkmenrah to the front door, where a black car was parallel parked outside, just beyond the stairs. Fearing the worst, a hasty, "Gotta go," slipped out of Tally's mouth as she ran from the lobby down several corridors to the Egyptian wing, which she found after having to ask for directions from a couple of guys six inches tall, who were tucked away in a corner away from the throngs of other exhibits and night visitors.

Another guy looking like he was ancient Egyptian and wielding a sword was battling it out with none other than her grandfather, who held a human-headed canopic jar aloft with one hand, keeping it away from the man. "You be careful, or once I'm in power, I'll kill you," Tally's grandfather spat as he attempted to strike the other man, illiciting a stifled gasp from Tally.

Larry and Ahkmenrah caught up with Tally, who was staring at Kahmunrah, who was battling out with-.

"Cecil?"


	6. Chapter 5

Yeah, pinkxjellybean, I'm sure it was epic, and it only gets worse (or better, depending on your perspective).

Chapter Five

Tally pounced on Cecil then, just as he had turned to face Larry, as if something clicked and told her to move, no matter what. The jar fell from his hand onto the floor, where the other Egyptian man rushed for it. Cecil incapacitated the man with a blow to the head just as Tally got a solid grip around his neck and on his shoulders.

Ahkmenrah grabbed the sword that fell from the man's grasp, and Tally squeezed Cecil's throat. He struggled to throw her off, and Ahkmenrah fought for the moment of connection. Cecil finally sent Tally crashing through a nearby display of hieroglyph-inscribed tablets, ultimately knocking some of the wind out of her.

Ahkmenrah lunged again for Cecil, and Cecil had successfully thrown him against a wall. Ahkmenrah was sure he heard a crack, and his back hurt so much. Strange colors filled his vision...

Cecil ran for the nearest exit, taking the jar with him, hotly pursued by Larry and a still recovering Tally. Larry had managed to cut Cecil off at the service door, and Tally pounced again, again landing on Cecil's back. He threw her off with more ease than the first time, and she slammed against a wall, down for the count. Larry attempted to get the jar out of Cecil's hands, while Cecil struck him in the jaw and kicked him in the gut before taking off out the service door.

Jedediah and Octavius had left their corner behind and started roaming the museum in search of McPhee's office. "What was all that fuss about?" Octavius asked.

"New night guard. Probably afraid something ain't right."

"Ah."

Jed and Octavius snuck around to McPhee's office, but the door was locked. "Okay, what else," Jed muttered to himself. "Air vent!"

"How do we get up there?"

"Airplane."

Octavius gulped, but Jed was unyielding. He grinned like a hyena before he dragged the general down to the Hall of Miniatures for the toy plane.

Jedediah led Octavius through a rather large hole in a neglected grate, which lined up with the platform he landed the plane on, and into the vent system, following the few clues he had to go on to get to McPhee's office. The grate in the office wasn't as neglected, and so it had to be worked open, with Octavius' help. This took about an hour, and Jed lowered a rope to the table below, fastening his end to the grate. He and Octavius slid down the rope and landed next to McPhee's printer.

"Now what?" Octavius whispered.

"See that?" Jed pointed to a string of transfer papers lying next to the computer in the middle of the room.

"How do we get there?"

Jed backed up against the wall and then took off running toward McPhee's chair. When he took off, he sailed through the air until landing on the back of the chair. He pushed the chair toward the printer desk, which took some doing, but soon, Octavius was able to climb onto the back and help push the chair back, which took less doing. Once back at the desk, Jed skillfully scaled the back of the chair until he could reach the top. Octavius followed, albeit more hesitantly than his friend, but soon, they had both reached the top of the desk.

Octavius examined the papers Jed had pointed out to him and noticed a note in the margin, next to an item on the list of transfer objects. "'Ensure the human jar is safe,'" he read slowly, trying the words in his mouth.

"What the hell?"

"It seems a series of four canopic jars was to be transferred here."

"We got plenty of those. why does McPhee care?"

"Have you ever found an intact, human-headed canopic jar in this museum?"

Jed shrugged. "Maybe, once or twice."

"Where?"

"I dunno, locked up somewhere, I guess."

"Exactly."

"What's so special about the jar, anyway?"

"That, Jedediah, is an excellent question."

"That ain't no answer."

"Moving on. Now..." Octavius skimmed through other papers before pausing again. "It seems the set of jars belongs to Kahmunrah."

"Kahmunrah?"

"Yes, and we seem to have acquired a wax model of him."

"Full scale?"

"Full scale."

"Okay, what else?"

"That's all, actually. We've just a little more time before we are missed. Perhaps we should be off?"

"Good idea."

Before the two miniatures descended to the chair, Octavius took Jed's shoulders and whispered, "I know you have misgivings, but we haven't time for them at the present."

"I know he shut me up in an hourglass. I just don't wanna talk about it." Jed jumped onto the chair before Octavius could protest.

"Fair enough," Octavius muttered before following Jedediah.


	7. Chapter 6

pinkxjellybean, Kahmunrah's normal size in this one and all later ones, but I won't stop you from writing a story about little Kahmunrah being a maniac. That might actually be pretty funny.

Chapter Six

Larry waited by the service door until Tally came to, which was about an hour later. "You okay?"

"Peachy," Tally muttered, slowly sitting up and stretching her back. "He got away, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Yeah."

Tally got to her feet and walked out of the room, walking straight into the Egyptian wing. Ahkmenrah was out, but the other was awake, huddled in a corner. "My jar," he whispered.

"Sorry, dude. We tried to get it back," Tally said.

"You mean he got away with it?" He shot to his feet and took two quick strides toward Tally. "He got away with my jar?"

"Yeah, not like he can go far with stolen goods, anymore, but yeah."

"What are you saying?"

"Give me a sec to get over your lisp, but what I mean to say is, the only people who can know by now would be his two buddies. He has to forge paperwork and get himself into a high-end auction within get-away distance, avoid the cops, and not look like the cat that swallowed the canary. All that takes time, patience, and, for the most part, sobriety."

"And if he doesn't want to auction it?"

"What else could you do with a jar associated with Isis?"

"Many things. And for reference, this is your fault!" He walked away, rubbing his eyes until he paused and looked up at the ceiling.

"Who is this guy?"

"I am Kahmunrah! I am half-"

"'Kay, got that. We're gonna get that jar back, okay?"

"Are you...I mean it's only-" Larry stuttered.

"Yes, I'm sure, and I know it's my first day, but I'm not about to let it be my last, either, 'specially with him." Tally gestured to Kahmunrah, who had turned sideways and glared at her.

"Do you have a plan?"

"Sort of, since for now, Cecil and I live together."

"Okay, you run home and do what you need to do, and I'll cover you."

"Sounds good, thanks."

Tally ran out the front door, only to find Cecil's car still there, empty save a book on the dash. "Shit," she cried, attempting to wrench the door open. At least the guy left his car locked. Tally looked around for some kind of weapon and, finding none, hopped on the hood and kicked in the windshield. She snatched the book and climbed into the driver's seat. "Shit," she cried again, seeing that Cecil had taken the keys. She leafed through the book to find that in it was a series of rituals, and several pages had been torn out.

She patted herself down for her cell phone and, having found it, and dialed a number she knew by heart.

"Hello?" Cecil slurred.

"I've got the rest of the book and I know where the rest of the heads are."

"Don' need 'em." God, she thought, he was massively drunk. "We're gonna be gods anyway."

"Are you sure? There are things at this museum that you need for your ritual that you can't find in an apartment like ours."

"Tha's assuming I'm coming back. The museum's a mortals' place." Cecil's voice began to slow. Tally distinctly heard a thud, and then she hung up and crawled out of the car through the windshield, leaving the book where it was and spending the last of the money in her jeans on taxi fare.

The apartment was exactly as she expected to find it. The stench of alcohol filled the small space, and Cecil, Gus, and Reginald were all virtually passed out drunk, their bottles scattered about, some leaving stains behind. Cecil was even still holding the phone. She glanced around before finding the jar on the coffee table. Stepping around everything, she found a small bag on the floor, slung it over her shoulder, snatched the jar and tucked it in the bag, along with Cecil's carefully snatched wallet. Gus began to stir, groan, and move about, so Tally slipped out of the apartment building as quickly as possible.

She flagged down a taxi and gave directions quickly, but as the cabby pulled away, her fears were confirmed, as a drunken but awake Gus stumbled onto the street.

Having paid fare out of her grandfather's wallet and dashed up the stairs to the front door, Tally reached for the door when she was grabbed by a pair of hands and dragged aside. "I really don't mean to do this," was the last thing she heard.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Larry paced about, Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah watching him most closely out of all the exhibits gathered in the lobby. The miniatures developed conspiracy theories amongst themselves, save Jedediah and Octavius, who had just gotten back from McPhee's office. A few other exhibits may have had their conspiracy theories, but they were kept behind closed lips.

"How is this getting me anywhere?" Kahmunrah whispered to Ahkmenrah.

"Shh. Let Larry do what he does best." Kahmunrah raised his hand as if to strike Ahkmenrah, but he caught himself.

"Where is she?" Larry finally asked.

"Call her and find out," Jed called.

"If she doesn't have her phone?" Jed didn't reply but instead turned to Octavius, who also had nothing to say. "Anyone have any better ideas?"

"I do, hopscotch," someone slurred from where he stood at the front door.

Tally opened her eyes and looked around, but she could see next to nothing. She knew she was tied to a chair with a rag covering her mouth, though nothing was in it. She began to work the rag free when someone snapped, "Stop that." The guy had a really stuffy voice, one she thought she heard before.

"Who are you?" she asked after she successfully freed her mouth.

"An unfortunate accomplice."

"But you're still an accomplice. What's your name?"

"Alastair. Alastair McPhee."

"Oh, my God!"

Jedediah watched Gus stumble into the lobby and attempt to punch Larry in the jaw, though he missed and all he hit was air. "You can leave her the hell alone."

"Where is she?" Larry demanded.

"How the hell should I know, Butterfinger?"

Jed laughed aloud when he noticed the stumbling, babbling drunkard had dropped his cell phone on the lobby floor. He gestured to Octavius, and they ran for it at once. They flipped the phone open and Jed searched the contacts until he found what he was looking for. He hit the 'Call' button and put the phone on speaker for all to hear.

"Hello?" The chaos paused at once at McPhee's voice.

Jed mustered up his best impression possible: "Where's the girl, you dunderhead?"

"What girl?"

"You know who I'm talking about."

"I assure you, she's perfectly safe."

"Tell me where she is."

"Precisely where you told me to put her, Cecil."

"I'm old, I forget. Where is that?"

"The chamber, just off the subway station. You yourself said it had everything you needed."

"Good."

Jed hung up just as Gus lunged for his phone. He and Octavius stepped back and let the guy take it. "He bought it," Octavius whispered.

"Used to be I could never get Cecil's voice out of my head, so I taught myself."

"Well done."

McPhee shoved his phone in his pocket as if with distaste and turned toward Tally. "That grandfather of yours must think highly of you."

"He can't possibly sober up that fast."

"If he's calling about you, certainly."

"He's dead drunk, passed out on the floor of his apartment."

"And how do you know that?"

"I just saw him fifteen minutes ago."

"Why on earth would you be there when you should've been working?"

"I was working!" McPhee laughed, rolled his eyes, muttered something about being 'sick of it' to himself, and punched Tally in the stomach. "You son of a bitch!" she managed.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Gus managed to pocket his phone and return to the center of the lobby and looked around, though every exit seemed to be blocked by exhibits, all glaring at him. He turned toward the Roman miniatures, snatched their leader before either Octavius or Jedediah could react, and forced the soldiers to break ranks as he ran past. Jed ran after Gus, closely tailing him for longer than he expected.

His thoughts squarely on Octavius, who was shouting Latin obsenities, Jed continued to chase Gus, who he feared was getting farther and farther ahead. Finally, Gus found the stairwell, and Jed managed to get himself on the railing in order to slide down. Gus burst through the door, Jed close behind, and he threw Octavius on the floor.

The general tumbled for a couple of feet and made no attempt to get up. Jed ran up to Octavius and turned him so that he was on his back. Octavius was completely unconscious.

Tally watched McPhee, who watched Gus. "Where are they?" McPhee asked.

"I tried to wake 'em up, but no use."

"Where are they?"

"The apartment."

"Well then."

McPhee walked over to the two miniatures, one of whom was trying to wake the other up. "And these two?"

"Along for the ride."

"Get your friends here now, or I'll never hear the end of it from Cecil."

"We're already here," Cecil said, from a second door. He, too, slurred his words and stumbled around.

"Well then."

"You wanna start or what?"

Larry, Ahkmenrah, Kahmunrah, the Roman legions, several cowboys, and several others, mostly miniatures, followed the path Gus had taken, and Larry was almost certain they were running out of time. The first thing he saw when he burst through the door was the elaborate ritual setup in the center of the room. Larry then noticed Tally still tied to a chair and walked over to untie her. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Tally said, rubbing her wrists some. "You remember your first day, that's for sure." Larry chuckled, and together, he and Tally turned toward everything else.

Cecil lunged for Tally, and she kicked him in the gut. "You can take care of him, right?"

"Yeah, no problem." Tally returned to the fringes and looked around at the ensuing chaos.

The Roman soldiers rushed up to their fallen leader, who was still unconscious. Jed was still trying everything he knew to revive Octavius, even some old tricks from his explorer days.

Seeing utter failure, Jed closed his eyes and kissed Octavius gently as the Romans surrounded them. Several foot-soldiers fainted, but it was only when Reginald, under Cecil's orders, brought his flashlight down on them that the weird things began happening.

Jed unsheathed both Octavius' main sword and the backup he'd taken to keeping with him at once and crossed them over his head to block the flashlight. While Reginald brought it down harder, Jed did his best to hold up.

Roman archers fired on Reginald, but he didn't draw back. Again and again, he tried to strike, and one blow brought Jedediah to his knees, but he stood again.

Octavius' eyes fluttered open, and he stared up at Jedediah, praying to Jupiter to give the cowboy strength. He only realized he'd said his prayer aloud when Jed looked down at him for a second. "I love you," he whispered. When the flashlight came down again, Jed disarmed Reginald and cut through the web of his hand all in one swift motion.

Jed turned and propped the two swords on either side of him, squatting down. "I love you, too. So, you feel okay or do you need more rest?"

"A little more rest would be nice. It's a shame that isn't an option in the heat of battle," Octavius said as he struggled to his feet. Jed handed his partner a sword and they prepared themselves for the impending strike from the enemy.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The first thing that riveted the attention of Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah was the human-headed canopic jar on the table in the center of the ritual setup. McPhee, Gus, Reginald, and Cecil had just taken their positions at the edge of a great salt circle which served as the boundary of the setup. Kahmunrah rushed forward in a bold, if idiotic, attempt to break the circle and get his jar back. Cecil attempted to grab him then, and Ahkmenrah grabbed Cecil's hair and jerked back. "You mess with him, you mess with me," he hissed in the ex-night guard's ear.

Cecil wheeled and struck Ahkmenrah across the temple, prompting Kahmunrah to draw his sword and slice across Cecil's back. Cecil stumbled and fell across the salt boundary. "You...why did...?" Ahkmenrah asked as his thoughts began to clear and he stood up to his full height.

"If anyone is allowed to try to kill you, it's me."

"Lovely," Ahkmenrah whispered, just as Cecil found the strength to get to his feet and lunge for him again, from behind this time, and the pharaoh placed a well-timed back-knuckle to Cecil's nose. "Why might that be?" he asked, as if nothing had happened.

"You're my brother."

"I'll accept that. Now, let's get that jar." Side-by-side, Kahmunrah and Ahkmenrah charged into the circle, ready for battle.

Jedediah and Octavius stood back to back, surrounded by Roman soldiers, watching the normal-sized (read giant) people surrounding them. Kahmunrah and Ahkmenrah were now fighting off three guys, two of which were armed, and Larry and Cecil had gotten into a scuffle themselves. In the ensuing melee, Tally bashed McPhee over the head with the wooden chair she had been tied to, effectively breaking the chair and dazing the curator for a few seconds.

"There!" Jed cried suddenly, pointing to the jar.

"You're not seriously suggesting we go after it."

"I thought you liked stuff like this. Quests, epic battles-"

"You might get crushed."

"You, too. I say we go for it."

Octavius sighed. "As do I, for what else can be done?"

Jed and Octavius charged past the soldiers and into the setup. They climbed up one of the legs of the table in the center, which was forgivingly short, and made their way to the center, where the jar stood. "It's a lot bigger close up," Jed mused, staring up at the carved and painted human head on top of the jar.

"We can still do it. Let me see your rope." Jed tossed Octavius his rope, and Octavius skillfully slung it around the jar human's neck, catching the other end as it came around. He gave a swift tug and leapt out of the way as the jar crashed against the table. He gathered up the rope and Jed sent the jar rolling with a kick.

The jar fell to the ground and rolled a couple of inches before stopping completely. Octavius handed the rope back to Jed, who tucked it away.

A flurry of arrows rushed past, clearly aimed at Gus or Reginold, whoever was approaching either the Romans or the jar, respectively.

Ahkmenrah had his foot on Reginald's hand before the man could even get to the jar. Tally kicked him in the side and restrained him that way, and Kahmunrah swiftly decapitated the man.

Only when Cecil had taken the time to whisper, "You've incurred the wrath of a god," and attempt to strike Larry's head did he slip in his own trail of blood, which hadn't seemed to cease forming since he'd been cut across the back. He let out a cry as he landed on his back, and Larry stomped on the man's chest, cracking at least one rib. Cecil cried out again, but Larry turned his attention to Kahmunrah, Ahkmenrah, the jar, and the two miniatures on the table who served as two of the many witnesses to the chaos.

Gus reached for the jar, earning a slit in the throat from Kahmunrah and solid kicks from both Ahkmenrah and Tally, which about took his head off. McPhee caught on and fled, illiciting a "Yeah, you better run!" from Tally, and Cecil was virtually incapacitated. While Gus and Cecil bled to death, Kahmunrah picked up his jar and walked out of the room, followed closely by Ahkmenrah.

Jedediah and Octavius clasped hands before pulling each other into an embrace.


	11. Chapter 10

I assure you, pinkxjellybean, Ahk is completely safe. Mini-kah would be fun, especially if it met life-size-Kah.

Chapter Ten

Kahmunrah put his jar back in its display and turned to face his brother, surprised that after everything, that face of Ahkmenrah's could be so gentle. "I let this happen," he whispered in Egyptian. "It was I who first fought this Cecil, and it was I who ruined my soul's existance."

"Whatever happened to blaming Tally?"

"She tried to stop him, didn't she?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"So I am the one to blame for what's become of my afterlife."

"No," Ahkmenrah replied, repressing his slight irritation at his brother's interruption. "You fought it, as you always do."

"You don't get it, do you? You are pharaoh! I've been way too concerned with that than my own afterlife!"

"Well, which do you want?"

"I want to bring my soul peace, but I am too envious of you for that."

"Listen to me, Kahmunrah." Kahmunrah watched his brother with rapt attention. "I don't care how much you hate me, and I don't care how envious you are of me." Ahkmenrah sighed, but he couldn't look away from his brother. "I missed you," he whispered, his voice lower than that of Kahmunrah's when he'd started speaking.

In that instant, Kahmunrah couldn't see the eyes of a pharaoh, but rather the eyes of that young boy who looked up to him all those centuries ago. Ahkmenrah turned away, attempting to compose himself. "What do you propose I do about it?" Kahmunrah asked.

"You don't understand. To you I've given voice and life to my secret, one which formed when our parents died. You used to be my brother, Kahmunrah."

"You are right. I've become less a brother to you and more a rival. Shall it end tonight?" He held his hand out toward his brother. Ahkmenrah swallowed, but he shook Kahmunrah's hand nonetheless. Ahkmenrah pulled his brother into an embrace without warning, but when Kahmunrah relaxed, he whispered, "This is nice."

"You gotta get me off the wine, Octy. I'm seeing shit," Jed whispered from his hiding place at the very edge of the Egyptian wing.

"In which case, we're both delusional, or neither of us are," Octavius replied.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Later that night, Larry helped the miniatures into their respective dioramas, save Octavius and Jedediah, who had resolved to never be separated until sunrise and instead stayed on the bench. Larry just sighed and walked away, and Octavius wrapped his arms around Jed. "You ain't letting go, are you?"

"Not for an instant."

"So where'd McPhee go?"

"I can't say, but I assume we'll read about it within the week, if Larry's scheme works."

"Don't the guy's plans always work?"

"In theory anyone's plan's can always work, unless they are completely absurd."

"Okay."

"Relax, Jedediah. We're safe now."

"I know, but thinking Cecil AND Kahmunrah came back..."

"Kahmunrah seems to have become a different person since someone attempted to foil his afterlife."

"Ain't they all like that? All crazy about the afterlife?"

"So I've heard."

"You heard?"

"Yes."

"It ain't one of those poncy Roman things, is it?"

"It's not 'poncy', as you put it, but yes."

"Well, what is it if it ain't poncy?"

"Educational. No self-respecting Roman who can afford it goes without an education."

"Whatever."

Octavius kissed Jed's ear gently. "I believe it is almost dawn. We should be getting back."

"Yeah, let's go. I mean, it's just for the day."

"Yes, just for the day."


	12. Epilogue

pinkxjellybean, I pride myself on my work, and I want others to see it. Yes, I like Jed's reaction my own self, and I got it off a Youtube video for CARS.

Epilogue

Tally walked around the corridors, ensuring every item was in place and all the exhibits were safely inside and in their displays before dawn. She helped Jedediah and Octavius into their dioramas while Larry closed up shop, and she quadruple-checked the jars six times, just in case Kahmunrah thought that one of them was missing. She made a mental note about a glass case for the jars.

A week of semi-normalcy later, Larry walked into the lobby, holding a newspaper above his head as if in triumph, and then he read the headline, "Museum curator charged with murder." Some of the exhibits cheered, some openly wept, but most were like Tally, caught in the middle in a bittersweet ending, stuck in a neutral state of mind caused commonly by mixed feelings about a subject. Kahmunrah and Ahkmenrah got into a bickering match, which was to be expected, but they seemed to be the only two actually fighting about it.

Jedediah and Octavius were alone again, in some corner or another of the museum, doing only God would care to know what.

Larry had begun to read the report aloud and any and all background noise stopped. The article described how the bodies were examined for hard evidence which implicated McPhee, some witness testimony, everyone knew whose, and there was some speculation on the upcoming trial.

Ahkmenrah seemed very confused with this concept, but who knew what his brother was thinking behind that blank look. "That's the way the system works in this country," Larry explained.

"Rather odd," Ahkmenrah muttered. Kahmunrah was still staring into space. Larry continued to read the article all the way through, and once he finished, he set the paper on the reception desk.

"Chaos works in strange ways," Tally mused to herself as she watched the exhibits mill about in the lobby. "Just like life."

After a while, after the news spread to everyone who hadn't heard it firsthand and the exhibits returned to their nightly lives, Ahkmenrah walked over to where Tally stood. "Can you make any sense of this?" he asked.

"I just know it's not my problem until chaos comes a-knocking."

"That's an interesting way to look at it."

"It's the only way that doesn't drive people mad, the way I see it."

Ahkmenrah chuckled, ran his tongue across his lip and asked, "Would you like to go for a walk?"

"Sure, just so long as if we see Jed and his 'buddy,' we pretend not to notice."

"Deal."

So they set off through the halls of the museum, Ahkmenrah catching a glare from Kahmunrah as he passed. Tally sighed and shook her head, a soft smirk playing on her lips.


End file.
